The Emperor’s Club.

My wife finally got the movie she’d been talking about all week and was gleefully bragging about it. I was less than excited though because invariably her taste seemed diametrically opposed to mine.

Where I liked mythical and unrealistic, fantasy type shows, ( like Matrix or Star Wars ), she loved realistic people in realistic settings. Where I loved action and perhaps a dry comedy, she would go more for drama and the occasional slapstick.

The only consistent common ground was perhaps movies with Denzel Washington, but while I watched those for the interesting plots and great stories, I couldn’t help thinking, she was watching them because of Denzel’s smile.

We were beginning to at least understand each other’s tastes though and respectfully agreed to disagree while respecting each other’s choices.

“What’s the name of that movie you got again ?” I asked just to make conversation, not with any real interest in the answer.

“It’s called The Emperor’s Club. Have you heard of it ?” she asked, all smiles and bubbly.

Emperor’s Club. I immediately began to be more interested, Emperor’s Club, wasn’t that the name of some high class international prostitution ring that had caused a recent political scandal ? I wondered to myself.

“Nope never heard of it what’s it about ?”, I asked while trying to look bored. Maybe this was a test to see if I was interested in Prostitutes, or something, I didn’t want to seem too keen.

“It’s about a teacher at a boys school. I researched it on the net, just like you do. Based on the shows I like, the IMDB website recommended this one.”, she beamed, trying to show me she could beat me at my own game.

You see, I always use sites like Flixster, the same way avid book buyers use Amazon, to tell me movies I’d probably enjoy, based on the movies I already like. It generally works out very, very well and obviously my wife thought it was a great idea too.

There are hardly any women in this story, a marked departure from the usual Hollywood fare. It’s about a male teacher at an all boys school, there’s not a prostitute in sight. Yet I must confess I thoroughly enjoyed this movie. It has something that is rare yet always welcome. It has a thought provoking premise and a well scripted story that is excellently acted even by minor characters.

The basic theme of the story seems to be that to truly be considered great you must not just achieve for your own selfish aims but should contribute something to the greater good.

The movie conveys it’s theme by focusing on a troubled youth who doesn’t seem to care about fitting in although he is also obviously very brilliant. This youth, new to the strict school, causes immediate conflicts with his classmates and also the teacher (excellently portrayed by Kevin Kline)  Mr. Hunterd.

I think one of the strengths of this type of movie is that we can all relate to the school environment and through such stories we get to reflect more on our own learning experiences and favourite teachers and subjects of our past. We easily compare those we know to those of the movie even when they pale in comparison or excel those in the story.

Basically the teacher begins to realize that the troubled youth is similar to himself, in many ways, and Hunterd goes the extra mile trying to make the boy get motivated and improve in his school work.

The teacher even visits the boy’s father who lives many miles away in the city. The father is a powerful man, a politician, who tries to negotiate and bargain with everyone but absolutely resists the thought of anyone else molding his son’s ideas.

The boy eventually, like many of his classmates, achieves much in life. He flies Hunterd in to his mansion by helicopter to remember the past and in fact relive it somewhat. A school reunion including a contest.

It seems the men have not been able to shake off the past and their boyhood foibles remain.

Without dwelling on the dramatic points of the film (don’t want to spoil your viewing experience) I’ll simply say that the events at the close of the film leave an older wiser Hunterd, and the viewer, asking whether the students really learned the most important lesson of all.

As for me I was quick to realise that this film, based on a short story (entitled “The Palace Thief”, by Ethan Canin, was a true classic, worthy of deeper study.

I praised my wife for her excellent choice and she smiled proudly and offered to make me a little sandwhich and a drink.

As I sat watching the closing credits and sipping on the cold drink which  her loving hands had made for me I smiled, feeling like a King, in my Palace.

I was now a member of “The Real Emperor’s Club”. It feels so much better than “The Dead Poets Society”.

Shake You Down.

I know you think I’m just another album in an old record store but I’m not. After all how many albums talk to you like this ? Huh ? How many ?

I see you come in here, looking at all of us, the old eighties music Albums and I know what you’re thinking. Rick Astley and the Purple Symbol, over there, couldn’t care less about you, but I’m different.

They want you to just forget but I need you to remember.

I’d like to rip some silly thoughts out of your head right now. Get Envy out of there. I’d like you to stop envying people, you see on tv and read about in magazines, and those you hear on the radio. I’d like you to realize that nothing ever comes easy and whatever a man  achieves in Life he’ll have to answer for on his own.

Who says he’s a success anyhow ? Suppose he never got to be the war hero he was destined to be. Do you even know the truth ? Suppose instead of fighting the war he’s addicted to drugs with names you can’t even pronounce. Suppose the singer with the movie star looks and all those top Billboard hits never got a chance to raise his own child.

Imagine if the Star had a son, who cried daily , just hoping to talk to his Dad.

Dad was busy, busy making music and well…just Imagine. His son told the other kid’s at school he was the son of a Star but they never believed because the son never even had the Star’s last name. Do you still envy him ? It’s sad man but it has to stop.

So, I’m gonna steal your brain. Too much envy in you, it needs to stop.

Like your friend from the old neighborhood who you were envying the other day and saying to yourself “He’s so lucky. He has the perfect marraige and a great business”. Would you still envy him if you knew he had AIDS or even just plain old Diabetes ?

Work with what you have to get what you want. Start right where you are. Right here and right now.

You little punk. You want the glory and can’t handle the pain. It’s a package deal, you all signed the contract before you were even born. You little weasel face, it’s too late now. I think you’re going to remember, most people forget conversations like this. Just don’t envy anyone for their contracts that’s what makes me angry.

Fulfill your purpose. No time for envy. Don’t make me angry.

You think you’re tough ? You think you can handle it ? I’m gonna rip out your brain.

You can’t walk a day in his shoes and you don’t even want to.

I want to rip your brain wide open. Yeah and first thing I’m gonna take out is that Envy.

Yeah that stupid envy , that stupid belief that you can claim another man’s glory without feeling that man’s pain.

If you want glory go get your own. Blood, Sweat and tears. Experience the Good, the Bad and the Ugly. Do it for yourself.

I want to Brainjack you. You can’t stop me. But I’ll see how you do with your contract first. Stop being a punk and be a Real Man or else I’ll be back and I’ll tear your Brain wide open. Live your own Life or I will Shake you Down.

Roxanne’s Revenge.

Jamaica’s leading DJs have sparked an international feud over which is better Gaza or Gully.

The battle has even reached to the real Gaza and various parts of Africa but this is certainly not the first or even the biggest lyrical battle ever.

I’m old school. I remember rap back in the days before Lil Kim, before Salt_N-Pepa and even before Queen Latifah. In those early days of Rap music there was really only one woman worth mentioning and her name was Roxanne. She was so pretty and talented in fact that you called her name twice and the song about her called “Roxanne, Roxanne” by UTFO was a smash hit. It spoke of a lady who was refusing their advances.

Roxanne Shante’ (birthname Lolita Gooden) made what we’d call the “counter action” song “Roxanne’s Revenge” which also became a hit for the teenage singing sensation.The single was released in late 1984, taking the original beats from an instrumental version of “Roxanne, Roxanne.” It was very confrontational and vulgar, but was an instant hit that sold over 250,000 copies in the New York area alone. Legal action followed, and it was re-released in early 1985 with new beats and the obscenities removed.

A series of Roxanne songs then came out in fact it may be the longest running series of Answer records in history according to Wikipedia. Check http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roxanne_Wars
for a list of the various songs in the Roxanne Wars.

There was even another woman  who did a song calling herself “The Real Roxanne”.

However for Roxanne Shante’ after two albums she became disillusioned by the cut throat music business  and as a teen age mom she felt swindled.

When she was around 19 she suddenly remembered a “throwaway clause” in her contract had said that the company that signed her would fund her education for life.

Amazingly the teenage mom who had felt tricked and cheated turned the tables on the whole music game and earned her PhD. in Psychology and made the label foot the bill.

Hip-hop mogul Russell Simmons said Shante is now a shining role model for the rap community. “Dr. Shante’s life is inspiring,” Simmons said. “She was a go-getter who rose from the struggle and went from hustling to teaching. She is a prime example that you can do anything, and everything is possible.”

Shante, 38, is now active in the community. She offers $5,000 college scholarships each semester to female rappers through the nonprofit Hip Hop Association.

This blog is partly based on the story Rapper behind ‘Roxanne’s Revenge’ gets Warner Music to pay for Ph.D by Walter Dawkins please read it.

Dora the Sexplorer.

 

 Dora is praised for being very educational for kids but we adults can also learn a few lessons 

from her cartoons.

 Always walk with your Boots.

  Swiper No Swiping 

 

 

Dora the Explorer, the famous Nickelodeon cartoon character, is growing up, and while many fear this is happening too quickly, I think it’s inevitable. 

Dora the Teen will be able to impart life lessons to those at the very impressionable and important Teen Age stage of their lives.

But will the trend to grow this booming Dora Industry really stop there ?

Dora is praised for being very educational for kids but we adults can also learn a few lessons from her cartoons.

Dora for Adults will no doubt contain the following lessons;

 Lesson One 

Always walk with your Boots.

Boots is Dora’s best friend in fact Dora is never seen without Boots.

 

  Lesson Two 

Swiper, No Swiping 

For those parents who buy every new Dora product please take heed, the second lesson, from Dora for Adults, is that when using a Credit card, on a low paying salary, it’s best to follow the catch phrase “Swiper, No Swiping”.  Use cash to stay within your means or better yet just teach your kids that “No means No”.

 This lesson and catch phrase will also come in handy as Dora grows up and begins to face the unwanted attentions of peers and even sick depraved adults.

Lesson Three

“No means No”

No matter how far they push the dress code in these cartoons let’s just hope that viewers get the key message and remember always that  “No means No”.

Caissa, My Valentine’s Day Mistress.

Some people think you should always spend Valentine’s Day with a beautiful mistress, and I guess I must agree, for that’s exactly what I did, this year, and it was great fun.

My mistress is a real Goddess known simply as Caissa.

Let me explain before my wife gets too angry. Caissa is the “patron goddess” of chess players.

She was created in a poem called Caïssa written in 1763 by English poet and philologist Sir William Jones.

In the poem, the god Mars falls in love with the goddess Caissa, portrayed as a Thracian dryad. Caissa rebuffs his advances and suggests he take solace in the company of the god Euphron—the god of sport. After hearing Mars’ laments, Euphron

…fram’d a tablet of celestial mold,
Inlay’d with squares of silver and of gold;
Then of two metals form’d the warlike band,
That here compact in show of battle stand;
He taught the rules that guide the pensive game,
And call’d it Caissa from the dryad’s name:
(Whence Albion’s sons, who most its praise confess,
Approv’d the play, and nam’d it thoughtful Chess.)

Mars then presents the game of chess to Caissa in an attempt to win her affection.

So for die hard chess players, Caissa is often invoked as a source of inspiration or luck, they often say things like “Caissa was with me in that game.”

So, in other words, I spent the whole day,all of Valentine’s, just playing chess.

It gets worse too, I wasn’t even playing chess with anyone else. I was really just fiddling around with this new computer program I got which plays at the level of a real Grand Master.

I learned a whole lot of new stuff about how I can use computers to benefit my strategies on the board. Stuff which is totally boring to those who don’t realize that Chess is the best game ever invented.

Poker does have a lot of strategy too, but Chess is the Ultimate game. Both games are perfect for the internet era.

Anyhow I was totally excited to see how far things have come in the world of computer chess. I’m not a racing car fan, but I do like to think Laterally, so let me try to give an analogy of what’s happening.

Basically chess players now have real live Grandmasters sitting right on our desktops. This has happened because the computer programs are built like Formula 1 cars now.

The outer shell of the car is what the computer program calls the GUI or graphical user interface. Its the nice board and all the features you use to play the game. The eye candy if you will.
Two popular GUIs nowadays for chess are Arena and Fritz 11.

The real power comes from the Engine, so of course they’re called Chess Engines, that’s where the calculations are done and the evaluations of positions that makes the computers of today Grandmasters in rating level. The best engine around now is Rybka, which apparently means ‘little fish” in Czech.

The power of the engine also depends what type of hardware configuration it’s running on and how the resources of the computer are organized. Things like Hash tables, etc, (way beyond the scope of this intro) come into play here but suffice it to say the bigger the computer, (more memory, greater speed), is usually the better the result of the lines it calculates.

Deep Blue, the computer that beat a reigning world champion in a match, was a mainframe, but now an average desktop computer packs more than enough strength to beat a Grandmaster.

What really intrigued me though was that the human component is still way, way from being obsolete. Each of the top programs also uses what are called “Opening Books”. These electronic “books” are really huge trees of variations that the program will play. The strategies it will use in the beginning of the game. The basic approach to victory if you will.

What amazed me is that these books are critical to the success of the whole Program and they are made by Humans, by a laborious process like distilling wine. Men like Kevin Frayer, Dagh Nielsen and Sedat Canbaz are famous for producing high quality books to guide the chess machines like a Formula 1 Driver.

Humans must direct the brute force of the machine, for best effect, even though its admittedly more powerful than us in raw calculation. It’s like riding a horse, I guess. Where the “computer horse” and man work as a team,really closely connected, its a “Centaur”.

There are even tournaments where they have what are known as “Centaur” matches. Centaur is where a human using a computer plays chess. Usually of course using a computer is strictly prohibited for a tournament but now its becoming popular. I guess it’s like when the pocket calculator was first invented and banned from most Maths exams.

Learning all this from my Mistress was really fascinating to me. Just goes to show that I need a life, I’m a nerd or something but I was really totally happy all day long.

Wifey didn’t miss the roses either because she claims that she’s Jehovah’s Witness and they don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day.

“Chess is a beautiful mistress to whom we keep coming back, no matter how many times she rejects us”. –Bent Larsen.

Happy Valentine’s !!

Heavy Sex will Come from the Sky.

“Most people think Great God will come from the sky…” , Bob Marley’s music has been ringing, in my head, since his birthday Feb 6th, when nearly all radio stations, here in Jamaica, blasted his songs all day long.

Most people think that artists are largely immune to the critics and the opinion of the public. Truth is, no one can exist in a vacuum. Post-humous success is not usually what an artist is striving for. They want to be loved in the here and now.

“But if you know what life is worth then you would look for yours on Earth”, Marley is now unavoidable, as ubiquitous as Mickey Mouse in a claustrophobic thrill filled Theme Park.

I’m human. I want to be famous one day too and successful. So it should come as no surprise that despite reading Charles Pick’s advice, ( to ignore your audience and write only for yourself ), I was nonetheless curious to find out more about my audience. Who reads my blog, what were they searching for ? How did they find me ?

Clicking on my blog stats provided a quick answer. The new readers of this “Heavy Logix Blog” were for the most part searching for “Heavy Set Beautiful Women” or some combination of those terms.

Google was only too happy to send them to me since I had the words “Beautiful Women” in one of my tags and my Title was of course “Heavy”.

Should I pander to the Rubenesque desires of my audience ? Should I rename the blog “Heavy Sex Women” just to get a few thousand more viewers ?

As ridiculous as it may sound isn’t that exactly what most artists do ?

You can fool some people sometimes, But you can´t fool all the people all the time.

Aside from the proverbial Starving Artist, who perhaps strives for post-humous glory, and often starves in the here-and-now, the majority of artists just try to “eat a food”.

They sell out. They pander to the audience as they perceive it to be, they dilute the basic truths of their message and sell more units in the short term. Losing out on their chance for Immortality, never becoming as Iconic as Mickey Mouse. Dying broke as a church mouse.

So now we see the light (What you gonna do?),

We gonna stand up for our rights! (Yeah, yeah, yeah!)

So, you better: Get up, stand up!

How to become Rahtid Rich !

My Billy Scorpio post reminded me of another encounter with mastery, which I wrote about on the 16th of November, 2000. The story  was published before, in an online newsletter for Jamaican Diapora, and also, in an Ardenne Alumni newsletter :

How to become Rahtid Rich !

A world famous author told me recently that every great story begins with a complicating situation, a problem, some conflict that needs to be resolved .

In my case the conflict was internal. I was no longer happy with my situation. I wanted more than life was giving me. I wanted to be happy, to have money in my pocket and a smart, gorgeous woman on my arm. Unfortunately here I was at twenty-nine under employed, broke and single.

I glanced at my bookshelf, crammed with dozens of titles, but one seemed to jump out at me ” Think and Grow Rich ” the title said. I smiled, wishing it were really that simple. I am a good chessplayer, surely if thinking was the key to riches I’d be playing golf with Bill Gates by now. Nonetheless, I began to think and even dream as I turned on my radio.

” How could I make loads of money doing something I really enjoyed ? ” I asked myself.

” Write a Rahtid book ! ” the voice of Cliff Hughes on the radio answered my question.

I was a bit startled to get a reply and quickly turned up the volume.

” Author, Colin Channer will be giving a lecture at the University entitled “How to write a Rahtid Book ! ” the public is invited and admission is free. “, Cliff Hughes continued speaking on the radio. I felt like he was answering my question and the word “free” had proved it.

So there I was at the Neville Hall lecture theatre a few days later, waiting (but not in vain) for what would be a life-changing experience.

As I waited, I scanned the crowd slowly filling the room. The word “free” always ensures a diverse and interesting mixture of people. Tonight was no different.

There was the white man with dreadlocks, assorted students, several other dreads, many bald heads. Weaves and an artificial blond in the front row also a real blond with tattoos. Pseudo-intellectuals and even intellectuals were in the crowd.

Some people held copies of Mr. Channer’s bestseller, ” Waiting in Vain “, others clutched notebooks. Some people looked as serious as judges while others were literally laughing-out loud. I wondered if I was in the right place.

That’s when she came in. A vision of loveliness. A lady. A gorgeous lady and she sat just two rows in front of me. Now I knew I was in the right place. She looked familiar somehow and I tried to remember her name and where I’d seen her before.

Karlene, I think that’s her name. I couldn’t help thinking that she’d look fantastic on my arm.

That’s when Colin Channer walked in. He could easily have passed for a student himself, with his casual outfit and hair skillfully done by the “Mi-jus-wake” salon. He flashed a brilliant smile as he was introduced, waited for the applause to die down and then began telling us how to write a rahtid book.

Colin Channer

In a dazzling display of the style which had made his first novel a runaway success, he was entertaining and informative, as he covered all aspects of writing. From dealing with agents and writing book proposals, to actual plotting and even character development.

Speaking with the ease of a true master he peppered his delivery with humour and “jamaicanisms” in a way that was truly “boombastical”.

It is said that from learning to master one thing we could master one thousand things. Colin Channer seems to agree as he showed that even his very life could be plotted out like a novel. He illustrated how to create a gripping plot by using many events in his own life. Thus the keen listeners ( and those who read between the lines ) were being taught not just how to write but also how to live.

As a former student of Ardenne High, I knew that Colin Channer had also been exposed to Ms. Robinson’s excellent English classes but it takes many strands to weave the web of success. I knew there was more to his story.

Some of these secret strands were revealed when Colin Channer emphasized his “typical Jamaican mother” and the conversation with God that changed his life.

When I realized that the woman I had been admiring in the audience was actually Colin Channer’s date for the evening, I knew I had to become a rahtid writer too !

The story has just begun.

Billy Scorpio.

Woke up very early and logged into Facebook thinking to myself, “the early worm probably catches the bird”, when I saw one of Jamaica’s best photographers, a guy we’ll call Billy Scorpio, on my chat list. Everyone else in Jamaica seemed to be still sleeping.

Billy Scorpio is someone I never met before, in the real world, but I always admired his work and even had the temerity to make comments, in his Facebook Photo albums, when I particularly hated or,  more usually, when I loved, something he did. He always took the remarks of his many fans with a good natured laugh.

I sometimes daydreamed about what it must be like to have a job like his, instead of one that’s just stressful and under-paid. He gets to photograph the country’s top music performers and actors, he works with the most beautiful women all day long. They fawn over his every word, realising that his skills and opinion can make or break their careers. He spends his days telling them which skimpy clothes to wear and what erotic positions to assume. They love him for it. It’s a hard life, but I guess someone had to do it. Billy Scorpio is that lucky guy.

To my surprise he actually initiated a conversation with me, by saying something about my status message, and after some idle banter  I said to him that it must be tough for him to focus with so many beautiful women on the set of his shoots.

He laughed, then quickly replied, with words that I’d replay in my mind for years to come, “You must hunt like a lion …he picks one gazelle and really only hunts for her…he hardly sees the rest of the herd.”

Hunt Like a Lion

He then discussed a photo of his I liked and I said it could be the start of a bigger project. He asked me how I would develop such an idea further. After many probing questions, which made me wonder how viable the idea really was, he suddenly found a unifying idea, a big concept, that could link a series of such photos and I then mentioned a potential sponsor.

I had one last reservation, one more doubt, ” Someone in the world must have done it before. ” I said.

“So ? Just do it better.” Billy answered.

I knew our ideas were sound but I also know I have no credentials in his area of expertise. I felt curious since it’s rare in Jamaica for people to be so willing to listen to an amateur’s view.

“Why would you even ask me about this ? You’re the pro, I should be trying to learn from you here.” I said.

“That’s why I asked you. You have a fresh perspective.”, Billy Scorpio replied instantly.

He thanked me for the brainstorm session and said he was heading back to sleep. He promised I’d soon see the results because he was definitely going to work on the project we discussed. He left quickly.

I was stunned. I had just spoken to a Master.

I had learnt from reading Musashi, ( in The Book of Five Rings ), that a true master always learns a thousand things, from one thing, yet it still never failed to amaze me when I met a true master.

Billy Scorpio is such a master. He has focused on mastering but one thing, Photography. From this mastery he has learnt about the importance of Focus and how Perspective can affect your Vision. He has developed Vison way beyond that in his camera’s lens. He had the Eye of the Predator. Realizing the value of both hard work and rest. He strived to always keep a fresh Perspective. He’d never be hungry for prey, because he was always hungry to improve himself.